Sunday, November 8, 2009

Groundhog Day

Hi. Me again. It's been two and a half months since my last entry. And boy, have I ever sinned.

Before I get into today's story, let me get this out there into the universe ... today when I woke up, I weighed 243 pounds. Technically, I probably weighed more than that, but I refuse to weigh until I've tinkled. Every little bit helps, right? So I was bummed, of course. Huge number. Biggest I've ever seen on my home scale.

I tried something new today. I decided that I needed a person. Someone who knows my number (243 ... gasp!) and can therefore appreciate when I've dropped a few or sigh along with me when I've gone the wrong way. Someone who I can be accountable to. Someone who won't judge me, 'cause she's dealing with the same issue. Not my husband, or my son. My weight loss counselor knows my number, but she doesn't really count. She doesn't love me the way my person loves me. I called my sister.

I shared my number with her, out loud. It scared me. 243 pounds is a BMI of 41.7. Both numbers are equally frightening. What's scarier, though, is the possibility that I'm now closer than ever to being 250 pounds. That's an eighth of a ton. What?!?!

I've spent much of my adult life looking for the trigger, the epiphany... the moment when I finally realize why I should lose weight, the motivation. And it's bothered me that it's never really one thing. But I think what I'm learning -- finally -- is that in order for me to conquer THE BEAST I need to have an epiphany every single day. Maybe more than one. Whatever it takes for me to realize that I've never done anything so bad in life that I need to punish myself with poor health... that I'm worth good health, and my family is worth it, too.

Today's revelation? Just that ... that I can have as many as I need to get on track and stay there.

2 comments:

  1. I don't weight until I've tinkled, put my contacts in and completely undressed. In fact, I get a little irritated at the doctor's office because they always weigh you before you provide the "sample". Don't they know that they are doing it totally wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'M TOTALLY FREE FROM HEPATITIS B
      I’m Stephanie Brown, I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B 4 years ago, I lived in pain with the knowledge that I wasn't going to ever be well again. I have used several antiviral medications, but this could not fight the virus of me rather I got side effects of fever, muscle and joint pain. After  spending so much money on antiviral drugs but I never get better. I made research on the internet for herbal medicine. AS I was determined to get my lifestyle back and to be able to do things I am restricted from doing, I saw a lady’s post on how Herbal Dr. JAMES cured her of HIV with his herbal mix medicine. I contacted the same Doctor through his email....Drjamesherbalmix@gmail.com....we spoke, I told him all that I have been going through, and he told me not to worry that everything will be better again, so he prepared his herbal mix medicine and sent it to me through DHL courier company and told me the usage, after 21 days of completing the herbal medicine, I was totally free from Hepatitis B, I went to see a doctor for a blood test, After taking a sample of my blood for the test the result came out negative, I just can’t deny that I’m the happiest woman on earth this very moment, I’m so happy and thanks to Herbal Doctor JAMES,He also told me he cures  diseases   such as Alzheimer's disease, schizophrenia, Autism. Bipolar disorder,  Shingles, Melasma, Underactive thyroid, Melanoma, Cancer, Weak Erection, Wart Remover, HPV, Herpes, Fibromyalgia, HIV, Hepatitis b,Liver/Kidney Inflammatory, Epilepsy, Fibroid, Diabetes,COPD, Back pain, Nephrotic syndrome,Infertility.Cardiovascular diseases.lung diseases,Thyroid disorders ,PCOS,Contact him on his email and get rid of your diseases, he is a good  man  Email....Drjamesherbalmix@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete